


Voices Within And Without

by pansexualfandommess (redvelvetrose), SincereJester



Series: Rise of Ben Solo [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Character Death Fix, F/M, Fix-It, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redeemed Ben Solo, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:46:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22038769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redvelvetrose/pseuds/pansexualfandommess, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincereJester/pseuds/SincereJester
Summary: Ben Solo deserved better, so we're going to give him better, dammit.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Rise of Ben Solo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586332
Comments: 22
Kudos: 179





	Voices Within And Without

What parts of his body that he could feel were in agony as he scrambled for purchase on the jagged rockface. Finding the handholds was nearly impossible in the stark, jarring flashes of blue lightning, so he felt his way blindly along the sharp stone for any crevice, any jutting part he could grasp. He couldn't summon enough power to leap up to the edge of the abyss, even if he could feel his legs. He had hit the boulders at the top of the cliff squarely on his back as he was thrown over; it was taking all of his remaining focus just to stay awake and hold back the pain. One single goal was screaming in his mind like a command: _go to her, go to her, go to her..._

His hand slapped upward, unseeing, and he grasped at air. Frantically, he dug into the gravel, seeking purchase, kicking weakly until he pulled himself up and out. He rose up on his numb limbs, swaying and dizzy, and lurched forward, intent on the rumpled form of Rey lying too still in the dim distance.

_...go to her, go to her, go to her..._

His right leg folded beneath him, and he fell on all fours, tempted to crawl if needed, cursing his weakness. He was so tired, and so broken... everything hurt! But deep down, inside, he felt that hidden strength, that instinct to go to Rey, to reach along that thread of the Force that bound them together. Grunting with the effort, he got up and shambled to her, collapsing when he reached her side. Dragging his legs beneath him, he sat up and pulled Rey onto his lap. 

She was so cold, so bitterly cold! Dried tracks of tears streaked her unmoving face from her staring dark eyes, still gazing up at the battle and firestorm above them. The embers and smoldering debris didn't even register to him, nor did he consider any possibility of danger or attack as he cradled her in his arms, holding her close, begging for any sign of life within. 

_Please, help me. Help me. Anyone._

_You have the strength_ , come the thought. Was it his own voice, or the voice of others, that was reassuring him? He pushed aside the rising fear, the agonizing pain, and closed his eyes. _Reach out...feel it...and just...breathe..._

He could feel it, a living presence, surrounding him, flowing through him, answering his call as he surrendered to it. His hand slid along Rey's ribs, seeking that small spark that tethered them together. Breaths and the stillness between breaths. The energy and the light grew. He knew, and he understood now, and opened that link between them, letting it rush forward to find its equilibrium. 

She was floating, surrounded by silent stars, feeling neither warmth nor cold. The faintest whisper of voices was the only sounds she could hear. Not even her own heartbeat registered. That was odd, she thought in the same distant way that she might consider hearing a far-off speeder with a misfiring cylinder. Instead, she tried to focus on those voices. They were the same ones that she'd heard behind her while confronting the Emperor. They were speaking to her urgently, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. 

_"Go back, you must."_

_"Rey... turn around. Go back."_

_"It's not time yet. Go back."_

_"Go back to him."_

_"To him."_

_"Go back to him. He needs you."_

_"Needs you."_

Turn around? Turn around to what? She didn't know which way was back. She took a deep breath, surprised to find that it hurt. Her lungs ached sharply; her chest felt on fire. She opened her mouth to cry out, but no sound came from her. 

_"This way."_

That voice cut through the din; the voice of Leia Organa. _"This way, Rey... he's looking for you."_

Looking for her? Who would be looking for her? She was alone. The answer came to her in a rush. Ben! Ben was calling her, reaching out for her. Blindly, she reached out her hand, seeking him out. For moment, it felt like she was only flailing in the dark; but then her fingers latched on to something very solid and warm. Ben's hand. She took his hand, squeezing it gently. The stars and weightlessness disappeared abruptly and she found herself staring up at Ben Solo's tear-streaked and bloodied face. 

He gazed at her, unblinking, as she stirred, her hand brushing his, the light returning to her eyes, the warmth to her body. He could feel the Force surrounding them, balancing the life they shared between them, the gift his mother had given to her son to bring him back. That moment, between breaths, he held Rey close and she smiled at him, alive and peaceful and whole. 

"Ben," she whispered, her fingers tracing his cheek. 

She drew close, her lips pressed to his, their shared breath the fulcrum of their lifeforce. His hand found the back of her head, supporting her as she did the same to him. With the next breath they drew back, still entwined through the Force but returning to their physical selves. Ben smiled, and it flooded his face with a joyous light. She mirrored that smile, and reached down to clasp his hand with hers again. Ben laughed, a small, delighted sound, and Rey could see how complete he was, his scars healed, his eyes clear. He was luminous... 

"Ben," she breathed his name again, drawing him into another kiss. She could feel him all but shimmering in her grasp. "Stay with me, Ben... keep your eyes on me," she urged him. His presence in the Force felt oddly offset from the physical man in her arms. "I love you, Ben... stay with me," she whispered, holding him more tightly. 

"Rey..." His voice was nothing more than a whisper. The light surrounding Ben seemed to weave around him and gather inward, and his gaze flickered. With a tired sigh, he slumped backward, his collapse barely slowed by Rey gently laying back the weight of his unconscious form. She held his hand tightly, refusing to sever the connection to him. 

With a bit of shifting, Rey was able to move around him, pulling him up against her so that he was lying back against her. With one hand cradling his head and the other pressed over his heart, she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, syncing it with his. He had brought her back from the brink of death and she was not letting him slip away from her. His heartbeat faltered only for a second before growing steady and sure under her hand. 

Had she the strength, she would have healed him fully. He had so many broken bones to go along with his torn flesh and sheer exhaustion. But for now, keeping him alive was the best she could do with her own current state of fatigue. They had to get out of here, but how? She looked up through the open ceiling at the many ships speeding around. Her friends were up there, she could feel them; Chewie, Lando, Poe, Connix, Rose, Finn. 

_Finn._ She blinked, searching for Finn's presence. He was easy to find among the many lives up there, burning just a bit brighter among them. _Finn,_ she whispered in her head. _Finn, hear me. Help me. Help us._

Onboard the Falcon, Finn stiffened, blinking. "Rey?" he muttered. "Rey!" Star Destroyers were sinking from the sky like exploding comets, colliding and bursting in cascades of embers and debris. Finn craned his neck to peer out the cockpit viewport, ignoring Jenna's concerned queries. "Lando, Rey is down there!" he exclaimed, pointing. "We have to get her!" 

Lando wheeled the Falcon around, scanning the ground. "Not many places to land down there, give me a moment," he said. "Hang on, I can see Luke's old X-Wing. I can land next to it, assuming the landing gear works," he smiled with a wink at his co-pilot. Chewie snorted in response. 

The Falcon, despite the teasing, landed without difficulty, and as soon as the ramp was down Finn was racing across the rubble-strewn ruins of the Sith amphitheater toward the huddled figures. 

Rey only looked up from Ben's pale face when she heard Finn's approach, his footsteps and ringing voice calling her name. "Finn, I need help! I can't lift him by myself; I don't have the strength either Force-wise or literally," she explained once he was close enough, her arms still protective around Ben. 

Finn pulled up short as he saw who Rey was holding. "Are you kidding me?" he declared. The last he had seen of Kylo Ren was when they had gone to find the Sith Wayfinder on Kif Ber, near Endor; the roiling conflict of the two locked in a lightsaber battle had panicked him. He found it impossible to shield from it, and he had screamed over the crashing waves to his friend, begging her to flee from her evil foe. She had thrown him back, pushing him across the slick metallic surface with the Force, and vanished. He had only felt her presence again when Artoo reported receiving a signal from Luke Skywalker's old x-wing: it was still an odd and novel sensation, that awareness, but he had been relieved to feel it. 

And now this: he had heard her as clearly as if she signaled their comm, a beacon in all the chaos surrounding them. He hadn't expected to find Kylo Ren there, especially not in Rey's embrace. He was also missing the shadows that always seemed to lurk around the man in Rey's arms; it was more like a web of energy entwining him, tied to Rey by her wrist. 

"I'll explain on the Falcon, I promise. But we both really need some medical attention, Finn. Please?" she looked up at him with pleading eyes, one hand leaving Ben's hair to reach out to Finn. "Help me?" 

"Of course," Finn replied without hesitation. Jannah had already rushed forward to help Rey and he grabbed the prone man's legs. Ben was large and heavy, but they managed to transport him across the open space toward the Falcon. 

"Wait!" Rey called, before stooping and clipping two lightsabers to her belt as they passed. Finn recognized one of them from Rey's training sessions with Leia Organa, but he had never seen the other: there was a lot to catch up on, he could tell, but for the moment he had to focus on loading everyone onboard and getting out of there. 

Panting hard with the effort, Rey and Finn were able to carefully deposit Ben in Han’s old quarters. He was so tall; it was the only place to lay him down fully. Rey climbed onto the bed with him, laying against him in an exhaustion so intense that she was nearly in tears. “Thank you, Finn,” she whispered to him before all but passing out next to Ben. 

Finn nodded wordlessly. Suddenly he realized he was also utterly drained, the events surrounding the battle sinking in with a delayed weariness. It had been less than a day since they had received the Sith transmission, but it felt like a lifetime. 

Rey looked...brighter, somehow. Even asleep, her hand still clasped in Ben's, she radiated with an inner light that Finn wondered if it was visible to everyone, or just him. Jannah appeared with blankets and helped Finn cover the two. 

"It's going to be a rough ride getting out of here," she remarked, glancing back at them as they made their way toward the cockpit. She fixed Finn with a reassuring look. "They'll be all right," she declared confidently. "They just need sleep. One of the other pilots is towing her x-wing back; we're heading back to the base." She touched his shoulder gently. "Hey, Finn, you okay?" 

Finn blinked, shaking off his thoughts. "What? Yeah, I'm fine. Come on, we need to buckle in." 

Even asleep as deeply as she was, Rey was acutely aware of Ben’s warm presence against her. Curling against him reflexively, she let go of everything except him; his breath, his heartbeat, his light within the Force. With Palpatine’s dark influence removed, he was bright as fire, his anger and hatred now coalesced into passion of a far less destructive manner. It was this warmth and brightness that Rey clung to as she slept. 

Ben could remember this sensation of weightlessness; it was a physical memory, from before he was fully formed. What puzzled him was that he was surrounded by star-studded space instead of remembered golden warmth; soft whispering voices echoed through him in place of muted heartbeats. Slowly he could sense the cohesion of his body; watched with detachment that there was a crimson tether of pulsing energy nourishing and rejuvenating him...Where was he? 

He tried to think. _Rey...._ He remembered her eyes, dark like his, but alive and clear, and her smile, and the kiss and shared breath, and seeing himself mirrored in those eyes, the gift of his life living in her. _I can't leave her,_ he thought. _I shouldn't stay, but I can't leave her..._

The starry space around him answered; _You won't. Not yet..._

_So, I'm still alive?_ He wasn't sure if he was happy or sad, or if he felt anything at all. 

_You are still yourself,_ came the reply. _There is much to be done. Heal, and go back..._

I'm so tired! 

_You have earned that,_ he was assured. _That is peace. The pain, the suffering...that is finished. Now is the mending. Go back._

...And suddenly he felt a rush of movement, like jumping to hyperspace or falling into a gravity well, and he was spinning like planets orbiting a star. _I'm dreaming,_ he thought, but it was a good dream, and he felt others as he rushed onward like sparks of light, some bright, some dim. He drifted, slowed, floated on the surface of sleep, until sounds and scents and touch returned. 

He was clutching a hand in his, fingers entwined. His right leg ached dully, as did his back and head. He could smell carbon scoring, and machine oil, and the faint burnt scent of singed insulation. There was an underlying accent of fur and caf and something cooked. What sounded like soft beeps of a console and engine whines reached his ears, together with the soft exhalations of the one sleeping next to him. Gently he flexed his fingers, slipping from Rey's grasp. He drew in a deep breath, and opened his eyes. 

"Hey, kid. You sure got bigger." 

Ben blinked several times as his eyes focused on the man standing to the side of the bunk alcove. "Uncle Lando?" he asked, his voice rough. 

"The one and only," Lando quipped. "No, don't try to move; there's a med droid coming. I'm sure you're all right, though; both of you." Lando nodded at the still-sleeping Rey. "How are you feeling?" 

"Alive," Ben answered, bemused. "It's good to see you, uncle." 

Lando gave a sad smile. "Been too long, little buddy. But it is good to see you again, too. We'll catch up soon; you just rest now." 

Ben nodded, laying back and closing his eyes again. 

Rey made a soft noise when Ben laid back down, winding her arm more securely around him to cuddle closer. If the movement or talking woke her at all, she gave no sign of it. A whirring noise signaled the approach of a droid, followed swiftly by booted footsteps. Chewie warbled a greeting, which was answered by a familiar voice. 

Harter Kalonia remarked something to the effect of it being about time he received a medal for bravery. Rey cracked her eyes open reluctantly, knowing she would have to disentangle herself from Ben so the major could look them over. The medical droid drew closer. “Pardon the intrusion, but the General said to prioritize those inside this ship,” the droid said in a low, soft mechanical voice. 

Rey nodded, licking her lips before speaking. “I’m okay, but he needs to be stabilized and given something for pain,” she said, trying to sit up and finding her entire body stiff and aching. 

“You are clearly not fine. Now lay back down so we can assess you, Miss Rey,” Kalonia insisted. 

Rey sighed and did as instructed. “Fine. But tend to him first.” 

Kalonia was quick and efficient with her assessment as always. "You're both in amazing condition, considering what you told me," she informed Rey. Looking toward Ben, she continued. "His unconscious state appears natural; he is healing and his bones are already knitting back together, although how I couldn't tell you. We'll continue to monitor him, but there are others that need more help now." She looked around at the soot-streaked, dingy walls of the Falcon's interior. "We'll get this area cleaned up and make you two as comfortable as we can. Notify me as soon as he wakes up, please." 

“I will, Major. Thank you,” Rey nodded, curling back close to Ben, laying her head on his shoulder, one hand resting over his heart. She found herself soothed by the strong rhythm. She closed her eyes, not sleeping, but still resting quietly. Ben felt so warm and solid next to her, different from how he had felt to her previously when they had connected long distance. Then, she’d sensed cold fury, pain, and anger from him; and it had always been slightly offset and flickering. Presumably that was due to the physical difference. Whatever it was, there was something very grounding about having him physically next to her. 

Celebrations continued outside the Falcon, loud and joyous and full of relief, but inside the ship things remained quiet and tranquil. Rey didn't feel excluded, however. There were a few visitors, and droids came and went, leaving the captain's quarters cleaner than Rey had imagined possible. The kitchen gleamed, and the smell of fresh caf and food wafted through the room. 

Despite the temptation, Rey remained where she was. Her hand moved from his chest up to cup his cheek, fingers just barely dipping into his hair. Not for the first time, she noticed how handsome he was, a perfect combination of his parents; Leia's cheekbones and eyes, Han's chin and lips, even Luke's pensive brow. The tiniest bit of scruff covered his jaw, making him look a little more like Han. Unable to resist, she leaned closer to him, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek, then to the corner of his mouth. "I love you, Ben" she whispered in his ear. 

He smiled, stirring. "I know," he replied sleepily. "I love you, too." 

“Sneak,” she teased him, smiling softly. “I thought you were asleep still.” 

Ben opened his eyes, squinting. "Who says I'm not?" he joked, hugging Rey. 

”I say you’re not,” she replied in a laughing voice, hugging him tightly. They remained that way for several long minutes, neither wanting to let go. 

Even as they moved back to stretch, the sense of connection remained, a faint metaphysical tether in the Force. It was comforting in a way, a feeling that was quickly becoming familiar. "You took my hand," Ben commented softly. "You wouldn't let me go." 

She bit her lip and blushed before nodding. “I couldn’t let you go. We’ve both been through so much. So much pain. So much sorrow. So much loneliness. You and I are meant for each other. There’s no point in denying it anymore.” She sat up, sitting cross-legged next to him, one hand still over his heart. “Kylo Ren is gone. And it’s Ben Solo who persevered and fought and survived. It’s Ben Solo that I love.” 

He gazed at her somberly. "I'm not sure I am Ben Solo, either. I'm not that person; I feel--different. Ben Solo never had a chance to just...exist, I suppose." He sighed. "Or maybe I really was Ben Solo in a literal sense. I felt alone; I didn't understand my mother's reluctance to talk about her childhood or family. And my father... Did you know my father was given the name Solo by an Imperial academy recruiter? He was an orphan living on the streets of Corellia; he couldn't even remember his last name." 

Rey smiles reassuringly, leaning forward to kiss his brow. “That sounds familiar, not remembering your last name. I certainly don’t feel like Rey Palpatine.” Drawing back, she sighed, tracing a random pattern over his chest. 

"Because who we were, or where we came from, isn’t as important as what we do now or what we become," Ben insisted. "Palpatine is dead; the Sith are gone. Kylo Ren is gone. The wars are finally over." He brushed her cheek tenderly. "There's a lot to do, and a lot to heal and fix. We'll figure it out. Together." 

“Together,” she agreed, turning her face to nuzzle against his hand. “Is it terribly selfish of me to want us to have a little time to ourselves before we have to dive into rebuilding?” She reached up, pushing her loosed hair out of her face. The buns she normally wore were long gone, and now her hair was a mess. 

Ben grinned, his whole face lighting up. "It could be part of the rebuilding," he suggested. "The best place to start is there, I would say." She was beautiful to him in so many ways, no matter what the state of her hair or how many layers of grime. He glanced away, feeling shy of the sudden rush of intense feelings, and spied her upper right arm. "Your scar is gone," he exclaimed, leaning up to peer at the spot. 

Rey glanced at her arm, then back at his face. “So is yours,” she noted, tracing where the path where her lightsaber had once nearly blinded him. His skin was smooth and unmarred by even the faintest scar. “Are your other scars gone too?” she asked, hands toying with the hem of his shirt. 

Sitting up, Ben pulled off his shirt, just as curious as Rey. His left collarbone and right upper arm were smooth and unblemished. Even the recent ring of the lightsaber wound and dusky mark of the bowcaster bolt on his side were gone. He gave her a lopsided smile. 

Rey wanted to touch him; the idea had been in her since that night on Ahch-To when the Force had seen fit to connect them while Ben had been in a state of undress. Now, even relatively sure that he would welcome her touch, her fingers just ghosted over his skin. She licked her lips, making a concerted effort to contain herself. His rather innocent smile of delight made her heart jump. “Guess we get to start over in more ways than one.” 

The expression on Ben's face was an echo of his father. "I guess we do," he replied, and leaned in to kiss her. It was obvious that he didn't mind her curious attention, and was inviting more of it. 

With that little bit of encouragement, she leaned in closer, both hands flat-palmed in his chest as she met the kiss eagerly. Their previous kiss had wonderful, but short-lived. This one was utterly glorious by comparison. He was warm and alive and vibrant, his lips soft and entreating against hers. 

"Wait," Ben gasped, pulling back. He waved a hand toward the door, which slid shut with a hiss and click. "Best if we avoid any interruptions," he explained. He looked down between them. "There are too many clothes here." 

She laughed softly in agreement, standing a little unsteadily to undo her belt and unwind the length of fabric she kept around her chest and shoulders. Her cheeks reddened as she pulled her hooded tunic up and over her head, leaving her in her short trousers and chest wrap. She bit her lip and looked down, keenly aware of Ben sitting up and watching her. 

Her boots had previously been discarded, so all she had to do was push her trousers down and step out of them. Cheeks burning, she managed do so without tripping or falling over, despite how her limbs began to shake slightly. 

Without breaking eye contact, Ben swung his legs to the floor and stood with a grace that belied his bulk. His trousers were slipped down and off with one smooth motion, and he stepped forward to her, cupping her head in his hands, his fingers weaving through her loose hair. 

Instinctively, she averted her gaze, worried her hunger for him would show in her eyes. It was a bit worrisome how much she wanted him. She’d spent more than one-night training into the wee hours trying to exhaust herself so she wouldn’t be kept awake aching for him. 

He chuckled at her shy modesty. He could sense her feelings quite clearly, and he didn't bother shielding his own desire. "It's all right, sweetheart," he murmured. "It's just us." 

It was that gentle endearment that made her meet his gaze. Sweetheart. “I know. I’m just overwhelmed by how much we both... you know... “She drifted off, struggling to say the words. 

"Share?" he finished. "It's still new for me, too. It's okay, feeling this way; there's nothing wrong with it. We'll go slow." 

“It’s hard to tell which feelings are yours and which are mine. Not that there’s any discernible difference... I think.“ She swallowed hard and drew her arms around him, finally letting their bodies touch skin to skin. Sucking in a breath, she laid her head on his chest, just over his heart. 

He sighed, leaning down to kiss the top of her head and just hold her there. She was so small next to him, but in no way fragile or slight. Oddly, they were about the same height as he recalled his parents being; he found that comforting in a weird way. His hands left her face and moved into an embrace. He just held her while she held him, relishing the simple intimacy of it. 

Her fingers drifted along his shoulder blades, caressing him gently. His skin was warm and smooth against her fingertips. A wave of need washed over her and she allowed herself to be taken by it; turning her head to press soft kisses against his chest, over his heart. “Ben,” she whispered his name a single syllable of need. 

Ben shivered, tightening his embrace before allowing more space between them. He dipped down to the side of her neck, kissing along her jawline from ear to chin and back. He could feel her pulse quicken beneath his lips, and his own pulse raced to match it. 

She moaned softly before capturing his lips with hers, a bit more demanding than previous. Her hands slid up into his hair, pulling him down to her height. Her back arched, pressing herself more firmly to him. At the feel of a pulsing hardness against her belly, her breath caught. “Ben,” she gasped, her own desire ramping up in response. 

In response, Ben reached beneath her thighs, lifted her in his arms and pivoted toward the bunk alcove. He set her down gently, crawling after her into the padded matting, peppering her face, her shoulders, her neck with a barrage of kisses. 

She gave a soft cry, clinging to him tightly, spreading her legs as she laid back, cradling him between them. Barely waiting for him to settle, she surged up to him, mouth moving greedily along his neck. 

He propped himself over her, capturing her mouth with his own with an eager groan. Her passion was incandescent, and it fueled his own. He wanted to touch her, map her curves and angles with his fingertips and lips. Even with the grime and dried sweat and tears clinging to their skins, he couldn't resist the desire to feel the connection blaze between them again, each feeding into their combined rising desire. 

Another gasp of his name, her voice rising with need, and her hands became more insistent on his flesh, caressing his back, shoulders, and sides. Her short nails skimmed his skin here and there. “Stars... you’re beautiful...” she whispered, pulling back just enough to see his full face. She cupped his cheek. “You really are. You don’t think so, but you are... just gorgeous.” 

"I'm not," he insisted, knowing it was futile to protest her assertion: it was her perception of him, and it was more than just his physical appearance. "But you! You are amazing!" He focused all his emotion behind that declaration, letting her see the full extent of his attraction to her. 

“Ben,” she whined softly, drawing her legs up along his sides and hooking them around his waist. She swore softly, rocking up against him, involuntarily trying to ease the incessant ache between her thighs. “Please, Ben...” she begged softly. 

There wasn't any question of what she wanted: her need struck him like a blow, and he sank against her, still mindful but driven to match her movements. She felt exquisite against him. Words failed him, he simply moved in response to her prompts. The small barrier of their remaining clothing was suddenly too much; even their skin was too much--he wanted to feel that unique melding of them together. He wanted to feel her around him, and him within her; he wanted to feel their separate identities swirl together in a sort of intimate, instinctive dance. He could sense everything she was experiencing, and knew she sensed his, too. 

“Off,” she growled softly, tugging at the shorts he wore, trying to shove them over his hips. “I need to feel you.” With a bit of effort and a fair amount of help from Ben, the shorts were quickly discarded. Rising up on her elbows, she undid her bindings, tossing them to the side. 

Urging her hips up, Ben helped removed her underwear, tossing them aside without glancing away from her. One hand cupped one of her breasts, thumb brushing across her nipple. He shifted his weight onto his other arm and side, half-on Rey. He kissed and nuzzled her other breast while still toying with the first. 

This was new territory for her. So wasn't an innocent by any means, but she'd never been with someone who actually cared for her. Just tedious, stupid fumblings back on Jakku, usually with some cute pilot whose stories she liked. Ben's touch was firm and eager, but distinctly less careless. She sighed in pleasure, sliding her fingers through his thick hair. "Oh... that feels good..." she whispered as her nipples tightened in response to his touch. 

She couldn't reach him as she wanted to, but she could feel his hardness against her leg, could even feel it as if it was a part of her if she concentrated. The urge to thrust, to be surrounded by slick flesh; it was an odd but very arousing feeling. She wondered briefly if he could feel her arousal in the same way; the ache to be filled and stretched. 

Perhaps it was an effect of their dyadic symbiosis, but their individual arousals began to blur, feeding off of each other's reactions, meshing into a perfect choreography of emotions and sensations. He knew when and where to touch her; he moaned and hissed in response to her own instinctive touch of him, urging her on and responding in kind. It was utterly erotic to feel all the facets of their intimacy, both sides simultaneously, and Ben continued with growing intensity. 

Pulling him up, she kissed him hungrily, sliding her tongue past his lips to deepen it. One small hand strayed along his side and down over his hip. nimble fingers curling around his cock, stroking gently. They both wanted this last, despite the mania of their passions, reminding her to keep these caresses light else he would spill too quickly. Ah, but he was a wonder to touch! Long and thick and heavy in her hand, hard as stone. 

He groaned with pleasure at the contact, suddenly torn between wanting more of it and the urge to plunge into her. The hand on her breast slipped lower, fingers tracing the path of her desire through the ready slickness between her legs. His thumb found a center of pleasure at the apex and he joined in her rhythm. 

"Ben..." she crooned his name softly, making a concerted effort to slow down, though his questing fingers made that supremely difficult. "It's all right... this won't be the only time we do this..." she reminded herself as much as she wanted to remind him. Yes, they both wanted to linger, but their desire for each other was running too high to be reined in completely. She kissed him again, stroking his hair back from his sweaty brow. She wanted to hear him, wanted to hear his voice in pleasure. To emphasize this request, her fingers tightened slightly around his cock. 

Ben moaned, low and feral and full of want and nodded, not trusting himself to speak coherently. He didn't need to anyway; even if they weren't aware of each other's feelings, their physical readiness was amply evident. He gulped, mentally pulling back to regain control and pace himself. He realized that it was still too soon after he nearly transferred his entire lifeforce to her, and before that, hers to him. Her unspoken promise in her words was enough to steady him without stopping. 

Rey shifted, pulling her hand away from him so she could resume her previous position; under him with her legs spread, his hips cradled between her thighs. "Ben-" she panted- "I need you inside of me. Please." Her voice was low and soft, ripe with desire for him. She had dreamed of this so often since that night on Ahch-To. 

Panting, he nodded again, kneeling back and holding himself for better guidance. How he wanted to drive his hard cock into her welcome, eager flesh, to seat himself as deep as he could go, to possess her with pleasure! Slow and gentle, he told himself. Slow and gentle! 

He paced himself, easing into her entrance as gradually as he could, until he was as far as he could go. Balanced over her on his forearms, he tried to stay still. He never imagined he could experience the sum total of Rey's perspective entwined with his own like this. He buried his face against her neck, hissing her name with the effort. "Rey..." 

“Ben,” she moaned in reply. The sensation of having him deep inside of her was utterly incredible, connected both in body and soul. There was no way to tell where her pleasure ended and his began. By pure instinct, she rolled her hips up, moving slowly in concert with him. She swore softly at the new dimension of pleasure. “More...” she whined plaintively. 

He took her plea for permission, and began to rock back and forth, stroking in her with a steadily increasing rhythm. He began to meet her thrusts with his own, every fiber of his body shaking with the voracious intensity of it. 

Rey cried out, hands wrapped around him, nails digging into his back. Between the two of them, moving together perfectly, feeling each other’s pleasure, there was no possible way they were going to last long. Already, she could feel that twisting, coiling tension low in her belly. “Close!” she hissed softly. “Tell me... tell me how close you are,” she pleaded, wanting to hear his voice. 

"Very close," he gasped, not slowing down. "Rey--oh!--so close...!" He lapsed back into a repetitious jumbled growl as he moved more urgently. The need grabbed him like sparks racing through every nerve and punched at the base of his spine. "Now--Rey, now!" he barked through clenched teeth, feeling the relentless rush flood through him. "Rey, please, now!" he pleaded in a desperate whimper. 

“Ben!” She all but shrieked his name, her body clenching and pulsing around him, milking him for every last drop of his seed. “Yes... oh, yes..!” she rambled through her climax. Her nails bit into his skin, leaving a series of small welts. 

With a long roar, Ben abandoned any restraint, slamming against Rey with the full extent of his release. As the pulse slowed, he pressed on top of her, leaning on his arms, shaking. He wanted to both laugh from joy and cry with relief. 

Shaking like a leaf, Rey pulled him down to rest his weight on her fully, her legs curled against his sides. His turmoil was clear and she held him gently stroking his hair and his back. “I love you, Ben... I’ve got you; I’ve got you. You’ll never be alone again.” 

Ben laughed, a pure sound of bliss. "I know, Rey; I love you, too..." His voice was raw, coming out in happy half sobs. More than their physical consummation was the undeniable outpouring of love he felt from her, the feeling of belonging he had lacked for as long as he could remember. "We've got each other, sweetheart," he went on, stroking her hair as their heartbeats slowed and became harmonies in their separate forms once again. "Always." 

“Always,” she nodded, kissing him tenderly before laying down in spent bliss. “God, that was amazing... I never knew it could be like that.” 

Ben shifted, rolling off to lay next to her, and leaned on his arm. "Neither did I. It probably wouldn't be with anyone else." 

“Very true,” she agreed, still a breathless. She shifted, turning towards him, resting her head on her hand, using the other one to caress Ben’s face. He was so very handsome to her eyes, she couldn’t resist touching him, as though she almost couldn’t believe he was real and he was hers. 

He smiled at her, just as radiant but with a new tenderness. He relished this blissful calm. No doubt the ache and pain would return, but for the moment, he didn't care. Her touch was a whisper of a breeze, but just as meaningful as their frenzied coupling, if not more. 

Rey closed her eyes, letting the calm and peace of the moment wash over her. This. This was what she had always wanted; to belong with someone, to have someone she could trust and love. At first, she'd thought Finn was the answer to her wishes on thousands of stars, in thousands of score marks on a metal wall. Finn was special to her and always would be. He and BeeBee-Ate were her first real friends. But Ben... Ben was on an entirely different level. He knew her, inside and out. He shared in her loneliness, her fear, her joy, her anger and yes, of course, her desire. This was what she'd seen on Ahch-To; one of the myriad of scenes that had passed through her head that had convinced her that Ben would return to the light. Lying in bed together on the Falcon, calm and serene with each other's closeness. There was no way she could have conceived of this happening unless Ben turned to the Light. And it was this that had driven her to his side on Snoke's ship. 

She'd insisted to Luke that she was going to turn Ben back to the Light for the war, for him to lead the Resistance with his mother, for him to destroy the First Order that he had such a hand in. A good reason that Luke, she thought, would understand; but not the only reason. Truth be told she was spurred on by far more than the promise of help for the Resistance; she'd seen how she could have a happy life with Ben, as her husband, as her lover, as the father of her children. It was the tantalizing promise of a family that had first prompted her to care about what laid beneath the mask of Kylo Ren. 

In that moment, Ben felt the full impact of their connection reflected in Rey's eyes. He hadn't forgotten that she had sought him out from Ahch-To, cold and shivering from what the Dark Side had shown to her, and his reassurance to her then that she wasn't alone; had never been and wouldn't be in the future. It was only now in hindsight that so many of those images made sense, and he could fully see what Rey had: belonging. A shared future. A family. "Rey," he whispered, not needing to say anything else but her name. It was like addressing his reflection in a way. She wasn't a Palpatine, and he wasn't really a Solo anymore, either. The Force would reveal how they would define this relationship in time, perhaps, but for now, this was enough. 

She smiled at him, leaning in to kiss him gently. Her stomach chose that moment to remind her that she had not eaten in well over a day. She blushed and pulled back, embarrassed. "Sorry. Guess I'm a bit hungry. You'd think I'd be used to it by now." 

He grinned in a very unromantic way, meeting her with a quick peck on her forehead. He leaned back, looking around the bunk and the room beyond. "We...are a mess!" he exclaimed. "And I could use some food, too." He sat up, running a hand through his messy hair. "You get the 'fresher first, while I clean up here and make use something hot." 

"Sounds good. I'll be quick, I promise," she smiled, sitting up on the edge of the bed and collecting her discarded clothes. "Ugh... these are filthy. I'll have to see if there's anything for me to change into." 

"I'm sure you can find something around here," Ben remarked. "I might have more trouble that way, though. I'll deal with the laundry when you're done." 

She nodded and headed over to the fresher. One thing that the Falcon had that she was pleasantly surprised by was the fresher, which used actual heated water instead of sonic vibrations to clean with. It wasn't original to the ship, that was for certain; but she had no idea which of the Falcon's crazy owners decided to install an indoor rain-shower. She stepped in once it was warm enough and washed herself clean, taking a little bit more time than might have been strictly necessary. There was just something so wonderful about warm running water along her skin. 

Sufficiently washed, she stepped back out, now tasked with finding something that could serve as clothes for a bit. She found what looked like an old robe in one of the hidden storage compartments. Judging by the soft fabric and slim cut, it probably once belonged to Leia. 

Draped in a sheet, Ben appeared holding two steaming bowls. He set it down on one of the inset shelves. "It's hot," he warned before gathering up their clothing and bedding. "And there's some fresh brewed caf over there if you want it." 

"Caf is my lifeblood at this point," she said, settling into her seat and stirring the contents of the bowl. She couldn't remember the last time she had hot food. Although a far sight better than the expired Imperial rations she used to get on Jakku, the Resistance still existed primarily on ration packs. Hot food was all but unheard of. 

She wasn't sure what this was exactly, but it smelled good; a thin golden-hued broth with small chunks of meat and vegetables, as well as an egg. There were also some stringy bits that she wasn't sure about, but found that they didn't really taste like anything in particular, they mostly just provided some texture. It was the broth that had most of the flavor. 

She poured herself some fresh caf too, taking long sips between slurps of the bowl’s contents. 

The sonic-washed laundry was done quicker than Ben, although he didn't take as long as she had in the shower. He re-emerged clad in his dark outfit, hair still damp, but much cleaner...and clean-shaven. He scooped up his bowl and began stirring its contents, testing its temperature. 

"This is really good," Rey said, only about halfway through her bowl. "Well, don't you look handsome all scrubbed up?" she smiled, reaching out to smooth his damp hair back from his brow. 

"You clean up pretty well yourself, sweetheart," Ben replied saucily, winking at her. 

The endearment made her cheeks turn pink. "Thank you." She cleared her throat, trying to change the subject. "So, what is this anyway? I mean, I can see it's some kind of soup or stew or something to that effect, but-?" 

Ben looked at her quizzically before replying. "I forget that you've probably never had this before," he remarked. "It's noodles. Well, noodles and other stuff in broth." He took a careful sip from the edge, then demonstrated how to slurp up the noodles. "See? Comfort food." 

"What's the other stuff?" she asked as she copied his movements, carefully sipping at the broth. "Meat, certainly... but I don't know what the vegetables are." 

"Gornt, roba, glasscap mushrooms, spinach, calarantrum root, those kinds of things. The egg is a gartro egg... I think." Ben peered into his bowl, frowning. "Just whatever I found in the galley, really." 

"Knowing Chewie, he probably stocked the galley," Rey nodded. "Where did you learn how to cook? I mean, so far as I know, Luke didn't cook at all. At least not while I was with him." 

"He could, just not very well," Ben said with a shrug. "I learned to cook before I went with him, though. Taught myself from holos, mostly." 

"Really? Why? I mean... you must have had droids for that sort of thing. Your parents were... well... were rich! Surely there were a bunch of droids around to do chores like that?" she asked curiously. 

"We weren't as rich as you might think," Ben put in, "Not that we weren't well-off, though. It's just that famous doesn't necessarily mean wealthy." He set down his bowl. "I just didn't trust kitchen droids very much; never had, and it was something I could do myself. So, I did. Also, there were times during training when we didn't have droids around to do it, so it worked out." 

"Your mom was a princess of Alderaan. Your grandmother was an elected Queen of Naboo. So, yes, I'm pretty sure you were insanely wealthy by my standards," she teased him. "I take it that you enjoyed cooking and just kept doing it?" 

"Yes, I just kept at it," Ben replied, eager to change the subject of his royal ancestry, especially after what they had both been through. "My dad could cook, too: he was pretty fond of common Corellian street food. It's spicy stuff if you're not used it, though." 

"I've never had anything spicy, so I have no idea if I'd like it or not. Although the idea of eating something that's going to make my mouth feel like it's on fire is not my idea of tasty." She finished the last of her bowl, a drop of the broth trickling over her chin. Table manners were not something she had much investment in. Using a cloth, she wiped her chin. "Well, I'm glad you know how to cook; that was really good." 

"Thank you," he said, collecting the bowls and depositing them in the galley to be washed later. "Your clothes are ready, if you want to change. Although, the robe's good, too." 

"I found it. I'm guessing it was your mother's," she explained, standing. "But if we're going to venture out or have visitors, I should change into my normal clothes. Speaking of which... what do we want to tell everyone? I mean, maybe a handful of people know that you were Kylo Ren. To everyone else, you're... a complete unknown. I don't even know if anyone will recognize you as Han and Leia's son." 

"I... don’t know if it's a good idea for me to go out there just yet," he admitted. "Truthfully, I'm not ready. It's...too soon." 

She nodded, understanding his reluctance to charge right into the Resistance celebrations. . She knew Ben was worried about what the others would think of him, that they might try to turn her against him if they knew who he was. Or that they would ask uncomfortable questions about his parents or Luke. "I feel bad leaving you by yourself here. You're sure you’ll be all right?" she asked, concerned. 

"I'm not alone, Rey, you know that." His voice softened, quiet and sad. "She's gone, you know; my mother..." He paced around the small space. "It's too soon." 

"I know. I felt it too," she nodded. "I'll talk to Poe and Finn... make sure they keep your presence on a need-to-know basis. Lando already knows you're here but I don't think he'll go blabbing it all over." She walked over to him, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him sweetly. "I'll send Kalonia in. She'll want to look you over." 

Ben groaned at the inevitable medical check-up but didn't protest. The others needed her, and she needed them; there was plenty of time for more later. It wasn't going to be easy for anyone--transitions rarely were--but he wasn't afraid of it. Besides, a quiet moment might give him a chance to clear his head and figure out what he should do next. 

"Try to relax a little, Ben," she smiled at him, knowing that brooding over things was his habit, whether as Ben Solo or Kylo Ren. "I'll be back as quick as I can." 

Ben just nodded as she left. It was curious, the ease of communication into which they fell. He could sense her concern, just as she could feel his need for momentary physical solitude, and they simply accepted it without question. He retreated back to their quarters, laying down wearily 

Rey walked carefully down the ramp of the Falcon, taking her time since her legs were still a bit wobbly, and not just from what had happened on Exegol. She found Finn and Poe quickly and was swept up into a three-way hug, squished between her friends. 

“I know,” she said when Finn tried to say something and couldn’t find the words. ”Everything’s okay. But don’t go announcing that he’s in the Falcon, please?” 

“Yeah, about that…” Poe frowned. “Are you sure about this? I mean… he’s… I mean… you know who he is!” Poe tried to keep his voice down, but his anxiety was clear as day. 

“He isn’t that monster anymore.” She looked down at her feet, trying to find the right words to convince her friends that Ben was only Ben. “Ben Solo is not Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren is dead. Only Ben is left.” 

“That doesn’t excuse-“ Poe began. 

She snapped her eyes up to his. “You used to be a spice smuggler. Finn used to be A Stormtrooper. I used to be a scavenger. Are we still those people now?” she countered, remembering Poe’s annoyance on Kajimi about this very topic. “It’s not an excuse. Ben will atone for what he can as best he can. That’s all any of us can do for past sins. But don’t lay all of the First Order’s atrocities at his feet.” 

That seemed to calm both men. “I suppose that is true,” Finn nodded. “Ren barely had anything to do with the military stuff. That was all Phasma and Hux on Snoke’s orders.” 

“Uh… yeah… about that…” Poe winced, jerking his head to the left to indicate that Rey should look in that direction. 

To her vast surprise, she could spot one tall figure among the Resistance celebrants who was oddly still and alone. General Hux stood there, looking a bit sick and trying to escape casual notice. He must have found a cloak somewhere and was wrapped up in it to hide his First Order uniform. He did not seem like a prisoner and there would be no point in keeping him as a hostage at this point anyway. 

Rey gave her friends a withering look. “Wow. You have no room to be twitting me about Ben.”


End file.
